I need you

It is only fitting that the song playing in the background at this very moment is "Lord, I Need You" by Matt Maher.

And where you are

Lord, I am free

Holiness

Is Christ in me

I need you

Oh I need you

Every hour I need you

My one defense

My righteousness

Oh God, how I need you

When I cannot stand

I'll fall on you

Jesus you're my hope and stay

Mmmm, what rich rich words about promises fulfilled by our Lord.


Anybody can attest to the truth of life changing on a dime with something as simple as a phone call.  Ours did with the call that we had been chosen to be parents then again with the call that Derek had been pink slipped not once but twice and finally with a 3:30am call from my mom.

I knew the day would come that my phone would ring and someone would be on the other end telling me my dad had had a heart attack or a stroke.  I knew it, but I feared it all the same.  When that 3:30am call did come, I went on autopilot for the next ten days until his last breath was breathed.

We are now 49 days shy of one year since that final good-bye.  One of the hardest things has been to keep going.  Our life doesn't stop because his did.  Business doesn't slow down.  School doesn't stop.  Babies don't stop having birthdays.  Life continues no matter how dreary the days are or how hard Satan tries to steal your joy and your thoughts.  The best part about life continuing is that so does the Lord.  Praise God, good-bye for us was Welcome My Child for my dad.  He met his Lord face to face and I can hear his deep bass voice singing Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah even now.  Here on this dirty earth I can rest easy in, as Peter says in 1 Peter 1:4, that "inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade." for when I cannot stand, I can fall on this.

Derek and I were at the very end of a grueling 10 week class to become foster parents when all of this happened.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt Dad was our biggest supporter in this endeavor, so we knew we had to endure and complete the task set before us of becoming foster parents.

Grief then set in in such a way that there were days I could not physically get out of bed.  I could not care for myself, let alone my family or a child in desperate need of stability.  Thank the Lord again for his hope and stay and placing a wonderful counselor in my life to help me through this grief.  Do not get me wrong, there are days that are more difficult that I could have ever imagined, but the Lord is good and carries me through.

We also knew Dad would not want us to stand by and forgo our desire to adopt again.  He bent heaven and earth to help fund our first adoption.  After some conversations, we decided to begin pursuing our second adoption before finalizing our DHR licensure.  This was a difficult decision because somehow we felt like we were leaving God's calling on our life to go down another road, but again, the Lord is good.  He has given us a peace and paved a road for this adoption that could only be done by His mighty hand.

The cost is a little less, but not by much.  We will again be needing to fund an almost $30,000 adoption.  We will also be using the same agency, Lifeline Children's Services.  This agency is who our first adoption was with and our foster care classes.  They love the Lord and have a primary responsibility to birth mothers/families.  They share the gospel without hesitation or shame.  They live out going to your neighbor and showing the love of Christ.  This is why we have chosen to continue to grow our family with them.

Our fundraising for round 1 was extensive.  Though we will fundraise, we believe it will look drastically different.  Be on the lookout for what the Lord is orchestrating.